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Writer's pictureElizaveta Bracht

The Chronicles of a Seasoned Traveller: Airport Antics and High-Flying Hilarity


I consider myself an experienced traveller with visits to over a hundred countries. I've become so accustomed to travelling that I have a well-established routine for every aspect, from preparation to packing. I've even got two types of cosmetic bags—one for hand luggage and another for checked suitcases. I'm well-versed with all the major airport hubs, including their lounges, shopping spots, and restaurants. I dress comfortably, making it easy to pass through security checks without much hassle. When travelling with checked baggage on long trips, I always make sure to pack spare clothes and underwear in my carry-on in case my luggage gets lost. During my time as a professional player, my teammates and I would always carry an extra uniform in our hand luggage. However, some things never cease to amuse me.


Ever witnessed the slow-mo action of unseasoned travellers at airport security? They unpack their entire life story into trays, including forgotten coins from ancient civilisations. Meanwhile, the rest of us become airport contortionists, trying to speed through the obstacle course they've created!

Some people still haven't quite grasped the art of using the internet to check in. Instead, they opt to spend two hours in the queue and engage in arguments with the staff over excess luggage.

Another amusing category of tourists includes those who struggle with using their boarding pass or even their passport at the automated controls. Despite instructions and staff explaining how to scan the barcode or properly position the passport, many still manage to do it incorrectly, resulting in long queues of impatient passengers.

I forgot to mention those who leap from their seats right after touchdown despite the crew's announcements to remain seated until the plane reaches its final position. As if the doors would magically open just for them!

But wait, there's more! Some of them just discovered that planes actually land – surprise! They break into spontaneous applause as if the pilot just won a marathon. Cue the standing ovation, folks!


Recently, I was on a Turkish Airlines flight where I encountered an unexpected delay due to bad weather conditions, causing me to miss my connecting flight. I was rebooked on a much later flight, scheduled for 2 am. Picture this: feeling exhausted and eager to reach my final destination swiftly. As the departure time approached and the crew completed their final checks, a passenger made a situation needlessly complicated.

The individual, a Russian who didn't speak a word of English, occupied an emergency exit. The flight attendant politely requested that all belongings be stowed in the overhead compartments, including those blocking the aisle. I happened to be seated just a row behind and could overhear and understand the conversation unfolding. Despite the stewardess using sign language to explain the need to clear the aisle—a safety requirement—the passenger replied in Russian, stating that the plastic bags contained expensive wine and champagne, and he refused to move them.

The flight attendant's remained courteous and firm, explaining that the items had to be removed. The stubborn man arrogantly remarked in plain Russian that it was unfortunate she couldn't speak the language.

The situation became increasingly comical, although my patience was gradually wearing thin. The man adamantly believed that stowing the bottles in the hand luggage compartment wasn't safe, fearing they might fall and cause injury. The cabin crew member reassured him that the compartment was empty and there was plenty of space. But, no! Clutching his bags tightly, he refused to let the flight attendant touch them. Realising this was a tricky situation, the attendant called for backup, and the rest of the crew gathered around the man.

I was tempted to step in, being a native Russian speaker, but my tolerance for such absurdity was nearly gone. I hesitated to use a less polite tone in Russian, as I was concerned it might escalate the situation further. Luckily, after some discussion, the crew attempted to relocate the man to another seat, but he flat out refused! Fortunately, one of the stewardesses found a resolution. She suggested storing the bottles in compartments usually reserved for the crew, positioned at floor level. This solution delighted the man as it ensured nobody would potentially get hurt, and the flight crew could finally inform the pilot that the plane was ready for take-off.

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